There is no need to inject racial psychoanalysis into the public conversation when straightforward political analysis is more than sufficient to the task. In two and a half years, the Obama administration has expanded George Bush’s wars and national security infrastructure and budget, added a new theater of combat in North Africa, and proclaimed a presidential prerogative to assassinate and invade at will.
He has out-Bushed Bush. Obama engineered by far the greatest transfer of wealth in the history of mankind, funneling at least $12 trillion to Wall Street. At the height of his popularity, still riding the crests of post-election euphoria, and under no real pressure from a demoralized Republican Party, Obama eagerly placed Social Security and other entitlements “on the table” for chopping. He endorsed the corporate/Republican line that deficits were the nation’s biggest problem, effectively sentencing the unemployed to damnation and inviting the austerity reign of terror that has descended. And these are just the highlights of Obama’s tenure.
Yesterday I lost a really good friend…to a disease that at one point almost engulfed me. And sometimes still slips through the cracks.
It was a true wake-up call. To think that what happened to her could have easily been me…damn, I don’t know. Why is it that I’m still here and she’s not? Why do bad things..bad thoughts..bad feelings happen to such amazing people? I don’t really know. But what I do know, is addiction is a bitch. Addicted to people. Addicted to the pain. Addicted to a feeling that becomes so habitual..so “everyday”, so normal… that you become numb to the fact that it’s very much abnormal.
Addiction will kill you. It’s funny (ironic funny, not “haha” funny) how even when you know something is bad for you, even when you know the consequences…people can still be less than 100% committed to a recovery. I mean, what can one do?? The addiction outweighs everything else. It’s like you’re in limbo. Just waiting. Fighting. Struggling.
I love going to the park and just sitting…watching people. You can learn a lot about a person within those few seconds. They’re confidence, or lack of…it shines through at that very moment. The way they walk…the pace at which they’re walking. The way they carry their bags, how they hold their phone, the way they bob their head to the music blasting from their iPod into their ears…..even the way they may catch you watching them. It’s funny…they either look away or they stare right back at you & hold that gaze for a moment. And you make some odd, abnormal, unexplained connection with a person who you were completely unconnected with 10 seconds before. I find that kind of amazing.
Good friends are really hard to find. They gotta be there for you even when you are wrong, but at the same time they can’t just tell you what you want to hear, they’ve also got to be willing to tell you what you need to hear. That’s the real reason true love is so hard to find. Because the basis of love is friendship and friendship is really really rare.
sometimes i just wanna throw my middle finger in the air and say fuck you, fuck this, fuck the way you make me feel, and fuck everybody. i seem to find myself in the same situations too many times, and i don’t know how to get away from it. so until i find a better way to deal….. just fuck it.
sometimes you can’t find the right words to say. thoughts just get jumbled up in your head to the point where your mind feels like it’s gonna explode. is there ever a right way to express the way you feel? emotions can overpower the strong intelligent voice you once had, and turn it into a shy illiterate stutter. words, they’re just words. it should be easy, but it’s not. i can’t even find the right words to end this post…
Everyone thinks they think outside the box, but the truth is, they only know what’s happening inside of their own box. You only know you. You want to think outside of the box? How about you step into my box.
I used to think change was all bad. It was scary….and I hated it. But the more I think about it now, it wasn’t the change I was afraid of…It was the result…the outcome. In the past 5 years, a lot changed in my life….stressed from school, family, and relationship problems….so much to the point where I was physically sick…dangerously sick. The results that emerged from all these changes were actually quite lethal. They killed me. I was dead. I was breathing..inhaling, exhaling… but I wasn’t living. I always wanted things to go back…I was unresponsive and unwilling to accept that these changes were occurring and I refused live in the moment…or live my life.
But recently, everything has shifted. All the changes in my life have been nothing but short of amazing. It’s still scary…because I want things to stay like this forever…and nothing lasts forever right? I don’t really know…but what I do know is that I’m going to live in the moment. I’m not going to cautiously live my life. Four years is a long time to be absent from life…from living….and a lot of time wasted on things that are really just irrelevant now.
It’s really funny how much things can change. How much a person can change. I never thought I would be who I am now. The way I feel about certain things…about certain people. I could never see the light at the end of the tunnel before, and I didn’t know life could be so good. But things do get better…and God never gives you any more than you can handle. All the struggles, obstacles, challenges…just makes everything so much sweeter.
At some point you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out; they fence you in. Life is messy, that’s how we’re made. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them.
There are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross, but here’s what I know: If you’re willing to take the chance, the view from the other side is spectacular.
I have a lot of thoughts on this whole affair. First of all, I do applaud Obama for conducting the mission intelligently. By quietly following leads and choreographing the capture instead of stomping around and shouting about justice with a megaphone, Obama managed to do what Bush could (or would) not. The U.S. no longer has a “big bad boogey man” to concentrate their hatred on… I applaud Obama for preemptively attempting to calm the fever of bigotted nationalism that is likely to be dredged up by this victory. I applaud him and his troops for disposing of the body, according to tradition, and in a timely fashion instead of having the poor taste to parade a gruesome death around like barbarians.
However, am I the only one is a little sickened by the whole mentality of the affair? It just seems a little childish….like some horrific playground battle. I understand the concept of justice, but an eye for an eye still makes the whole world blind. I understand vindication, eliminating a possible future threat…I realize that this is the world we’re talking about, that this man was a mass murderer…..but something about the pride and joy people are taking in the death of another person, something in the sort of jeering and sneering going on in the streets, even something about the giant, almost vintage news headlines reading “OSAMA IS DEAD” like something out of the 1920’s….I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it makes me a little sick.
For decades, we have held in contempt those who actively celebrate death. When we’ve seen video footage of foreigners cheering terrorist attacks against America, we have ignored their insistence that they are celebrating merely because we have occupied their nations and killed their people. Instead, we have been rightly disgusted — not only because they are lauding the death of our innocents, but because, more fundamentally, they are celebrating death itself. That latter part had been anathema to a nation built on the presumption that life is an “unalienable right.”
But in the years since 9/11, we have begun vaguely mimicking those we say we despise, sometimes celebrating bloodshed against those we see as “bad guys” just as vigorously as our enemies celebrate bloodshed against innocent Americans they (wrongly) deem as “bad guys”. Indeed, an America that once carefully refrained from flaunting gruesome pictures of our victims for fear of engaging in ugly death euphoria now ogles pictures of Uday and Qusay’s corpses, rejoices over images of Saddam Hussein’s hanging and throws a party at news that bin Laden was shot in the head.
This is bin Laden’s lamentable victory: He has changed America’s psyche from one that saw violence as a regrettable-if-sometimes-necessary act into one that finds orgasmic euphoria in news of bloodshed. In other words, he’s helped drag us down into his sick nihilism by making us like too many other bellicose societies in history — the ones that aggressively cheer on killing, as long as it is the “bad guy” that is being killed. Again, this isn’t in any way to equate Americans who cheer on bin Laden’s death with, say, those who cheered after 9/11. Bin Laden was a mass murderer who had punishment coming to him, while the 9/11 victims were innocent civilians whose deaths are an unspeakable tragedy. Likewise, this isn’t to say that we should feel nothing at bin Laden’s neutralization, or that the announcement last night isn’t cause for any positive feeling at all — it most certainly is.
All this being said, I’m pretty sure many people will disagree with some of my points in this post…someone will probably crucify me for my lack of patriotism, or call me naive, or worse. But hey, “free speech” right? I’m just thinking “out loud” so to speak. I’m not saying the guy should’ve been spared, I’m not saying that at all… I’m just having a slight issue with the way the news is being presented and received. But then again, I almost always have a problem with the way the media presents news, and the way the public interprets it.
Why do people believe I can be successful at everything….except relationships? You don’t doubt my work ethic…my intelligence..my drive. But being with one person..being content with them…avoiding that boredom that always seems to creep up on me…you doubt that? Why can’t you just be happy for me when I say “I think I found that one.” Why is that shit so funny to you? Smh. People change…Just because I never wanted this before doesn’t mean I can’t want it now. Maybe it just took that one person to help me see that people are still genuinely good…that relationships can work. I’m done with games…done with messing with people’s feelings. Just done. I’m ready for something real. You can bet that, never gotta sweat that.