What happened to us? We never used to be like this. In a relationship I know that it's normal to have arguments here and there, but now we just find ways to be mad at each other. The little things are getting the best of us and it’s tearing us apart.
Reason…logic..curiosity. It drives us. We need to understand things…explanations are a necessity. Definition gives us clarity. It provides us with a resolution. It gives us a sense of comfort. But is everything really definable? I’m not sure that it is. I would like for it to be…but there are a lot of grey areas…in relationships, in your career, in how we feel on a day to day basis…it can be confusing.
But that’s just life. Life is a big, fat blob of grey. There are very few moments of black and white…of clarity. But you push through it. You add a little charcoal to that grey tint and darken it up or you throw in a little light to tone it down…either way you go…whatever you decide….at some point you will find the black or the white. Maybe even both.
Life is undefinable in so many ways…but that’s the beauty of it really. You can define it for yourself.
And this is who you want your next President to be...?
Michelle Bachmann on Wages:”Literally, if we took away the minimum wage… we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level.”
Michelle Bachmann on science: “Where do we say that a cell became a blade of grass, which became a starfish, which became a cat, which became a donkey, which became a human being? There’s a real lack of evidence from change from actual species to a different type of species. That’s where it’s difficult to prove.”
Michelle Bachmann on Congress: “I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out, are they pro-American or anti-American.”
We are still their slaves. The Caucasian race continues to reap profits from the people of Afican American descent without the effort of physical slavery. Just look at the current methods of containment that we use on ourselves. IGNORANCE. GREED. SELFISHNESS.
Our IGNORANCE is the primary weapon of containment. Someone once said, “the best way to hide something from black people is to put it in a book”. HELLO!! We live in world of information! We have the opportunity to read any book on any subject through the efforts of our ancestors who fought for our freedom…yet we refuse to read. Books are available everywhere; bookstores, the internet, the library…but few of us read consistently..if at all.
GREED is another powerful weapon of containment. Since the abolition of slavery, we as a people have an immense amount of money at our disposal. Last year alone, we spent $10 billion dollars during Christmas, out of our $450 billion dollars in total yearly income. They (white people) use us as their target market for any business venture they can think of. They make money off of us continuously. They get rich and we go broke. We are a “consumer” type of people…we function by greed…always wanting more, with little thought for saving or investing. We would rather buy a new sneaker than invest in starting a business. We think a Mercedes or owning a big house gives us “status”. We are foolish. The vast majority of our race still live in poverty because our greed holds us back from collectively making our communities better.
SELFISHNESS is ingrained in our minds. Our selfishness doesn’t allow us to work together on any project of endeavor of substance. We instead created another class within our race that looks down on our own people and aids them in a condescending manner. “They will never achieve what we have.” Our selfishness lets our ego get in the way of our goal. Our “organizations” only want to promote our name without making any real change in our community. We are content sitting in conferences and conventions in their hotels, while talking about what we will do. We praise, honor, recognize, and award the best speakers and neglect the best doers. We can’t comprehend that we are no better than each other because of what we own or what designer we wear….in fact most of us who do own and wear those “unreachable” items are only one or two paychecks away from poverty ourselves.
They WILL continue to contain us as long as we continue to spend our money aimlessly, keeping the books closed and the newspapers folded. As long as we continue to “help” our community by paying dues to organizations that spend money on lavish conventions at their hotels instead of stepping into our community and actively working on change…we will digress. They will contain us. Yes. We are free from their physical contraints of slavery…but now…now, we continue to enslave ourselves.
I’m a lot confused and a lot sad. I hate when I have a problem and I don’t know how to fix it…how to make it better. I’m a perfectionist. So It’s really a lot hard for me to be a lot unperfect. But perfectionism is not an option. We all make mistakes…we all do things we regret or wish we could take back…but for me that’s just a lot to deal with…in my mind. Because a lot of something can lead to a lot of nothing…and that’s well…it’s just a lot.
“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”— Bob Marley (via cchhaassee)
…and the more I think about it, the more I realize just how similar relationships and the shakes at Jamba Juice really are.
For the first half of the drink, it tastes delicious and you feel confident that it was a wise decision in terms of satisfying your hunger..but then you get to the middle…
…you begin to feel bloated, full and maybe a little uncomfortable—those once delicious chunks of fruit turn into disgusting blobs of mush.
Questions pop into your head…”was I even hungry to begin with?”…”maybe this isn’t what I wanted”….”I shouldn’t have bought this.”
…So then you decide to throw it away, so as not to be reminded of the overwhelming nauseous feeling.
Two hours later, you’re hungry again. And you wish you hadn’t thrown it all away…
…perhaps you should have just put it in the fridge and taken a break. Given yourself a moment…and then made your way back when you were ready.
But it’s too late. You’ve thrown it away…..so you go to McDonalds and get a McFlurry instead.
I always used to talk myself into not getting too close to people…I would convice myself that it was dangerous and that it was the easiest way to get hurt… but how smart is it to think that way, really? To avoid emotions and feelings. To avoid relationships, connections…reality.
Letting people in sometimes may be the easiest way to get hurt…but sometimes it’s not…and what if you miss out on that one time it’s not because you’re so afraid of letting someone in. I don’t want to be that person who misses out.
Opening up doesn’t always have to be a bad thing… I would like to view it as being a tool for measuring how strong you and that other person really are…both seperately and together. It exemplifies how much you’re willing to fight for that person- whether or not you let the slight struggle encompass your relationship, or if you decide to continue to battle and beat the odds for that person you love.
Me and my relationship? I love him completely…and I would do and feel anything just to be with him. No obstacle will or can stop me from loving him… no matter how hard it may be or how much it may hurt sometimes…because the end result is completely worth it. And my love for him is endless.
No relationship is perfect. I think people lose sight of that. You’re either all in or not in at all. Relationships take work, time, and effort. But that amazing burst of energy, that feeling, and happiness that I get when I think of him, see him, kiss him…It’s what i live for.
“What an extraordinary value the most insignificant things take on as soon as the person we love hides them from us. Pain in itself does not necessarily produce love or hatred in us for the person who causes it….Just as we can remain indifferent to a surgeon who hurts us in the process of a surgery. The process can be a tool for the betterment of the person. The surgeon is just the technician. It is up to you to acknowledge the process…it’s purpose…and shape your future. Take what you learn and go with it.”—
You are so incredibly inspiring. You're beautiful, and so intelligent. This may sound weird but when I read your posts, I think of myself. We share a lot of the same views and habits, but you are far more eloquent. The way you put things together and voice your opinion in just the right way. It really makes me want to just get to that level where I know I can be. Intelligent, and strong. For a long time I was knocked down by trying to fit in. Other's expectations had me struggling to find that balance between being myself and being liked. Only recently did I give up on that, and it's been so rewarding. I always wondered why I didn't feel as though I fit in where I live. And what it really comes down to, is that no one around me seemed to have aspirations, or know their genuine potential, let alone know themselves. Where I live it's extremely popular to focus on being attractive and staying in a place that's comfortable. That usually boils down to going to the local community college and dropping money on clothes and alcohol as opposed to building up to a point where you could make a change for yourself, and others. I'm not saying I don't like fun. I really do, but there's a point in your life where you need to venture out. And far too many people I know are afraid to. I was never in danger of not venturing out due to some social norm, but I was in danger of waiting too long before I ventured out. But reading your posts helped me realized that I can be exactly who I am, and be comfortable, as well as successful. I can like what I like and still fit in because I'm naturally just a chill person and a leader. Basically, you helped me re-find myself. And I just had to thank you for it.
I’m just now seeing this. I love that I could help someone else through my writings. And that someone else can relate to how I feel. Thank you so much for taking the time to tell me this, it makes me so happy that my words make a difference to someone. You just inspired me even more :)
Life can be painful, hard, and fucked up. It gets complicated at the worst of times, and sometimes you have no idea where to go, what to do, or what to think.
And a lot of times people let themselves get lost, dropping into a wide open, huge abyss. But that’s the exact reason why we have to keep trying.
We have to push through all that hurts us and work past all of our memories that haunt us…because, sometimes the things that hurt us are the things that make us strongest. The things that make us better…more agile.
A life without experience, in my opinion, is no life at all. And that’s why I think that, even when it hurts…never stop yourself from pushing through all the bad, all the confusion, all the perplexity that is so hard to understand and comprehend in the moment. Never stop yourself from living.
“I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.”—Robert Fulghum (All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten)