Struggling. I’m struggling with idea that the one thing that put life in me, takes it back out. I don’t even know why or how that’s possible but it is. It’s hard to want something in your life that can make you happy, but destroys you at the same time. That’s hard to accept.
I woke up this morning at 2am. Really sad. And I didn’t really know how to make myself feel better. So I thought back to about 2 years ago; I was at my lowest point. I would wake up in the middle of the night, drive from my apartment to campus…sneak in to the studio of the dance building. And dance. Just improv…did what my body told me to do, what it felt like doing…how it felt like moving. I would do this for an hour…sometimes two. And it made me feel better.
So last night. That’s what I did. I walked downstairs to the dance studio in my apartment building. And I danced. And for that moment I felt happy. It was a good feeling..and I miss that. But after I finished, after I came out of that moment. I was sad again. I just felt a little empty.
It’s scary that something can fill my emotions, my thoughts, and my actions with such intensity. To a point where it’s uncontrollable.
The World:hey man we've got some really serious problems like global warming and mass economic failure and riots and genocide and aids and cancer and your healthcare system is shit so maybe we should get to work
US government:sit down I have to stop people from sharing things online
“Boys are told from a young age that whatever they do will be excused under the “boys will be boys” mantra, and that “boys will be boys” mentality leads to what I call the “boiling frog” problem of women’s sexual boundaries. I call it that because if you put a frog into a pot of boiling water, it will jump right out, but if you put a frog into a pot of room-temperature water and slowly heat it to a boil, the frog will acclimate as it heats and never jump out, eventually boiling to death. Similarly, when we learn as young girls to tolerate “low-level” boundary violations like the ones we often are forced to suffer in silence at school, at home and on the street – bra-snapping, boob-grabbing, ass pinching, catcalling, dick flashing “all in good fun” relentless violations that adults and authorities routinely ignore – it makes it harder for us to notice when even greater boundaries are being violated, eventually leading to the reality that many women who are raped just freeze and fall silent, because that’s what they’ve been taught to do over and over since day one. You tell me what’s more infantilizing: repeatedly letting boys (and grown men) off the hook for their behavior because “boys will be boys” and we can’t ever expect any differently, or creating a consent standard in which all partners take active responsibility for their partner’s safety, and which acknowledges the truly diseased sexual culture we’re soaking in every day.”—The (Nonexistent) Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Consequences of Enthusiastic Consent (via ellielamothe)