…there are a lot of guys in my life time that are going to be interested in me…but I won’t share that mutual feeling.
…when I do find one that I have mutual feelings for, I’m going to love him til’ the death of me… but I don’t think he will love me as much.
…so, she said I’m going to date a lot, but I won’t let any of them stick around.
What she said was true.
I really don’t give people the time of day, not because I think I’m better than anyone else.. but because sometimes I think I’m just too complicated…too complex to understand…or to even love.
Like, I’m not worth the trouble you’re going to get into while trying to get to know me. I’m as complicated as it gets. And I don’t want to complicate anyone’s life. So sometimes I’d rather just stay out of it. .
I don’t know.. but I often wonder what’s going to happen to me? Am I going to have kids in the future? Am I going to be happily married? Am I ever going to be married? Am I ever going to let someone into my life?
I have to learn how to let my guard down and let people understand me. But my fear is, no one will ever understand me and no one will think I’m worth the time or effort to understand.
I don’t let people in close enough to care for me. I keep everyone at arms reach…but how am I suppose to give a good hug when everyone is standing 6ft away?